im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
