I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
50% drunk capacity currently
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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