weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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