i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I forgot how hot balto sounded
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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