Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Pooping to opera.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
