Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
