Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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