Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
