he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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