Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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