Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
