sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
