Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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