You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
