there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize