xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
