Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
