Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
