I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
