if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
