I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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