You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
