Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
