Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
