I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Pants are for mortals
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
