Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
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