So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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