she kept yelling 'call me bella'
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Randomize
