pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
