i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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