I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
