He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize