my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
