this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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