Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
