I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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