"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
