so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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