And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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