Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
