Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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