Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize