hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i wish my penis had a tongue
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Cover your peen. We're going out.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
