remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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