just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
