garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
be right there i have to get my cape
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
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