May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
