Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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