Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
