its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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