hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
