Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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