If that was your dad, he is hot
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
