at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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