Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
